when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
