It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
