i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
