Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
