Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
