Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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