yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
