My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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