he wants to bone in the snuggie
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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