I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Randomize
