True but thats because hes a fetus.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
