I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
