So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
try to milk me bitch
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