Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
