Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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