It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
