how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
