i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
