we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
