She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
