Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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