But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
if only i could text you this smell
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Randomize
