Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
