she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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