Someone shit on the floor
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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