I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
