Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
