if i can run in heels then i can drive
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
