If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
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