Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
