Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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