i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
