That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
