I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
