I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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