Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
