Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Randomize
