are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Dignity is for republicans.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
