well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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