I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize
