my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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