If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
