Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Randomize
