My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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