Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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