Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
