What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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