someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
it's not cheating when I paid for it
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
