I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
