Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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