I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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