I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
